How I Feel About… Delta Goodrem

12 Jul

Legit question: when did we all start hating Delta Goodrem?

 

A Level 10 Awkward Moment occurred tonight on ‘The Voice’ when Delta got fed up with arguing a point and walked off the set. And boy did she cop it. The worst of it is, tonight was the latest in a long string of outbursts from The He Man Delta Hating Club.

Now, as you would know, I am not one for unnecessary bitching* but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a good dose of reality TV der-rama. I mean, why would we even bother watching television if it wasn’t for the chance to innocently rag on fame-hungry Geordie Shore residents or Kylie Jenner’s latest lip enhancement?

But honestly, when did we all turn on Delta? Because from where I’m sitting, she hasn’t committed any serious crimes apart from having one of the most enviable bloody weaves on television and looking crazy good in a white onesie.

It was recently announced that Delts had been cast as Grizabella in the new Australian tour of CATS. (If you are not one for musical theatre, Grizabella is the one who sings ‘Memory’ and has the epic smoky eye/false eyelash look.) And gosh, ERRYBODY had an opinion on the matter! And for the most part, a lot of it was not positive. Yes, I understand there is a genuine debate over the act of ‘star-casting’ musicals with known celebrities to boost mainstream appeal and ticket sales, but that is not what this is, and not something I have the brain space or word limit to open up right now. No, the public’s reaction to Deltabella was more personal, more targeted. From what I could see, a lot of people were “shocked and appalled” that, out of all the Aussie female celebrities out there, they chose HER. A woman who is an actual singer. What controversy.

And so I did a bit more research. (I searched the hashtag #TheVoiceAu on twitter. Because journalism.) My findings? The Delta bashing is not new. At all.

Ever since Delts first appeared on her big, red chair on ‘The Voice’ in 2012, the Australian public chose her as their new punching bag. And 2015 is proving to be no different.

She’s daggy. She’s insecure. She’s jealous of Jessie J. She’s fake. She’s too nice. She’s a bitch. She had an affair with Seal/Joel Madden/Anyone who has appeared on the show.

And I would just like to say… WHY AUSTRALIA?!

Delta Goodrem is a goddamn national treasure!

I mean, do you REMEMBER when ‘Born to Try’ came out? Every white girl under the age of 35 was all about that jam!

And speaking of white girls, that’s the other thing; a recent moniker Delta is often labelled with is “lame white girl”. Because apparently her dance moves are just so Drunk-Mum-at-the-local-Bowls-Club that we can’t stand it. Yes, that Instagram that Marlon Wayans captured of her was an unfortunate coincidence but one that Delts still managed to laugh off.

So what if dancing isn’t her best bloody skill? Who gives a feck? Maybe she IS a bit of a lame white girl. But go have a look in the mirror. Are you white? Do you own a few too many Sportsgirl striped t-shirts? Go to Club Retro on a Saturday night and dance to Chumbawamba?** Then you are probably a bit of a lame white girl too. I know I am. WE ARE ALL LAME WHITE GIRLS! WE ARE IN NO POSITION TO JUDGE!

Allow me also to refresh your pre-2012-Delta memory:

Remember when she had CANCER? Like, for real. In 2003 she was diagnosed with Lymphoma, a type of blood cancer. She was 18 years old. She had chemotherapy, her glorious locks fell out and she rocked a mini fro’ for a solid year and a half. What were you doing when you were 18? I was straightening my hair with a clothing iron and working at Target. Girlfriend had real problems.

She also dated tennis player Mark Philioppoussis. As in, The Scud or The Poo as I prefer. Who dumped her for Paris Hilton, how very f*%&ing dare he. And she lived to tell the tale. Well, that’s a lie. She rarely talks about it at all. Because lady got class.

I guess my point here is that the woman has had her fair share of crosses to bear. Ones that we so often forget for the convenience of dumping on her every time she opens her mouth.

And now this rivalry with Jessie J is serving as a new avenue for Delta-bashing. For the record, I love Jessie J as much as the next person; girlfriend could sing me an A-Z of infectious diseases. But I really hate the fact that we are using her to highlight Delta’s flaws. Jessie is searingly honest and brutal at times, which is absolutely commendable, but not Delta’s style. Is that Delta’s fault? No. It’s no one’s fault. It is just two women with differing tactics and opinions on singing who often come to loggerheads.

And tonight it got a bit too much for Delts.

Was it over-dramatic? Maybe. Was it edited badly? Possibly. But was it completely unjustified? No. I think a lot of the viewing public forget that all of these blind auditions are filmed within the space of 24 hours. One day. One very, very long day. I mean, isn’t the fact that none of the judges have changed their outfit in three weeks a dead giveaway?

Can we just put this down to a long, frustrating day at work then? Havent’ you ever wanted to throw your hot coffee or Cup-a-Soup at that insufferable co-worker who WILL NOT stop interrupting while you’re trying to watch cat videos on YouTube? As a teacher I cannot tell you the amount of times I have done a very similar thing to a room full of obnoxious teenagers. (The walking off, not the throwing hot beverages at them. I would definitely get fired for that. And I gotta pay rent.)

So can we please just pull back on the Delta hating?

The next time you find yourself growing a little impatient with her or, like me, your jealousy levels are rapidly rising every time she flicks that glorious blonde weave around, try to remember the first time you played your ‘Innocent Eyes’ CD (do not even TRY and tell me you didn’t rush out to HMV to buy that shit). Delta is a nice person. A strong woman. A talented singer.

I look forward to Deltabella in CATS. I think she’ll do a bang-up job. Yes, maybe she is a little bit younger than what you’d come to expect of such an iconic character, but keep in mind Nicole Scherzinger just played her on the West End and she is a bloody Pussycat Doll! Just think about that.

 

delta

 

I’m out.

xx

 

*Not fact.

**My Saturday night. Fact.

 

 

 

 

 

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11 Responses to “How I Feel About… Delta Goodrem”

  1. Tayla July 13, 2015 at 4:35 am #

    Oi you are my new favourite person, whoever you are. 😍

    • laurensaid July 13, 2015 at 5:09 am #

      Well then, you are my new favourite reader x

  2. Colin July 13, 2015 at 6:29 am #

    I agree 100% with “How I Feel About… Delta Goodrem”
    If all these Delta bashers had been through just half of the stuff she has been through, they’d more than likely buckle under the pressure.
    Yes, do go & take a good hard look at yourselves, and then ask yourselves, ” Am I better than Delta”.
    Your answer will be “NO”.

  3. Glenda July 13, 2015 at 8:37 am #

    Totally agree. It can only be pure jealousy. She is talented, stunningly beautiful and so kind to others. She could be more honest with the contestants, but no one is perfect! Keep up the good work Delta and dance all you want darling ❤️

  4. Emily July 13, 2015 at 8:39 am #

    Beautifully said. I feel the exact same.

  5. Chris July 13, 2015 at 11:43 am #

    I think delta is a beautiful person, anyone that doubts her or thinks she’s jealous are complete and udder fools. She’s achieved more in her short lifetime, that many haven’t achieved there whole lives. So I’d definitely back delta any day

  6. Karen July 13, 2015 at 12:25 pm #

    I love her, she is the best

  7. Maria Lawrie July 13, 2015 at 12:38 pm #

    I absolutely love Delta and she (and Josh Pitterman) is the reason why I’m going to see CATS. So looking forward to it. I think she is an amazingly strong individual. She MUST be good otherwise people like Andrea Bocelli would ask her to perform with him. I went to their last concert and sat in the fourth row centre and love, love, LOVED it!

    I believe she will be a brilliant mentor and very nurturing. I’m looking forward to seeing how her team goes.

    I love what you wrote and totally agree with what you said. Let’s just hope those haters are in the minority.

  8. Luke July 13, 2015 at 3:08 pm #

    Fun Fact: the judges wear the same clothes every day of the blind audition process so that editors / producers can swap around auditions into any episode they want.

  9. Carolina July 14, 2015 at 12:21 pm #

    this the most entertaining thing I’ve read for a while. Where do I find your other stuff?

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