The Bachelor Season 2 Recap: You’re Boring Me

18 Sep

Soz guys.
I wasn’t going to blog this episode because, well, it sucked. EVERYTHING IS THE WORST WITHOUT LAURINA!

However, in the interest of overcoming the grieving period, and because I am all about personal growth, here are the things you need to know:

  • They go to the Blue Mountains. Jess/Elsa is expectedly super excited. The others look pissed. The bitches from last year went to some secluded beach in WA and then Thailand. The Blue Mountains are an hour’s bus drive from Sydney. This is bullshit.
  • However, this means the bitches can finally crack out the designer puffer vests.
  • They all abseil down a mountain. No one falls. It’s really disappointing.
  • Vader and Louise pash with tongue.
  • He gets in a hot tub with Jess/Elsa and she recites a few Hallmark cards to him. He likes it.
  • More ads for smelly vagina wash.
  • Vader is mad at Lisa because she laughs at stuff.
  • ERRYBODY TALKS ABOUT FEELINGS AND HOW HARD IT IS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!
  • Feelings.
  • Sam is taken to High Tea. She looks confused as to why there is no beer.
  • The cocktail party is cancelled. The bitches get drunk by themselves.
  • Everyone stares out of windows and rotundas and tries to act poignant.
  • Curly Haired Girl #2 (Zoe) doesn’t get a rose. Lisa is sad because she is normal. This should win her some points with Richard Mercer.
  • I prop my eyes open with toothpicks and cling hopefully to next week’s episode…… HOME VISITS! WEEEEE!

 

 

image

Where’s the booze?

*Post Episode Side Boob Note*

I did a little experiment. I watched ‘Law & Order’ straight after this. And do you know what I discovered? There are no ads for smelly vagina wash during other programs! This is an outrage. I see what you’re playing at, Channel 10….

 

 

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